Life…..Sigh!….

Here I am unemployed. Even after working for 2 years I switched my profession from computer engineering to animation. I studied animation and then got married. So even after I actually switched my profession I am yet to start working in it. And it has been almost 2 years that I am staying in America on a dependent visa. Now when I say anybody I am an animator I wonder to myself “Really?!! am I?!” I have not even felt how it is to work in any studio.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Choosing a profession can put so much pressure I had never known!  All I know that i changed my path because my parents had told me to always do something which I would love doing. And I definitely was not loving my IT job! It just wasnt me! Then what exactly did I want? What was it that I could do which would not feel like a heavy job to me? Animation had all the artistic feel to it and my 2 and half years of studying film making and animation was the most enjoyable and educative time of my life. And I knew that I have chosen the right path. Now suddenly after a gap of 2 years I feel distant to everything. Do i still want to go for animation or do I want to do something else.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    When I turn back from where I stand I see my juniors reaching heights. I see my friends having kids and starting a family. People have just dashed ahead it seems. And I am still standing at the position where I again dont know what I really want to do in life. All i know is I want to do something I would enjoy. And somehow I dont have an answer to that question again. In these 2 years of staying home and just performing the duties of a housewife i feel my skills have rusted. If I spend time shining them at what time will I do a job properly or rather reach any height?                                                                                                                                                                                                                            I believed that everything that happens is for a reason. But now I am a little scared that everybody is going ahead of me and I will be just left behind still thinking of what is it that I want to achieve. Too many questions and no answers yet from life. I wonder when I would get a clear view!!

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