There are times when you feel that parents should know all the facts of life that children are going through. But what if children aren’t comfortable to talk with them. I never was a very talkative person. And I had lots of highs and lows in life which I could not share with anyone. I used to write a diary …. Diaries actually. And I wrote them backwards. You know so that no one would be able to read them. But is writing sufficient when what you want is really someone to understand how you are feeling..
I never shared much with anybody. When I was in my last two years of high school I made a very dear friend with whom I was comfortable sharing few things. But still not everything was out. I never felt the need of sharing it with parents anymore. And the life I started living was one where I was the person who motivated or demotivated myself. I gathered from many “morning chats and readings” my dad used to read out, was that it was not by listening to sermons, or reading books about high standard of living or any other person motivating, that we would start living a better life. But it solely depends on the will and thoughts of a person by we he/she can go ahead. I dislike reading non fiction about learning how to be a winner and stuff like that. So till today I like to believe that I am the only person who can give myself a boost or loose it completely.
Today I talked with my aunt. She is a 72 year old lady full of passion for life. Anyone who sees her will envy and respect her for what she has accomplished. She grew up in a small city in India and was taught everything …..rituals and customs . Then she got married and came to US and has been living here since. That helped broaden her mind. She still talks the way she used to and eats beetle leaves (paan) wears salwars and saree sometimes…. but then she writes books…she does gardening… she cooks ..she travels… she wears swimwears.. she climbs mountains…..damn she does everything!!!! The talks we shared today was something which I thought I would speak with my parents or something which my husband would understand.. You know….. its just been 6 months of my marriage and I have a lots of hopes and dreams …. but every family has somethings which will just drag down the joy. getting accustomed to ways of living in a house other than yours will be difficult. So the problems…. not problems actually but the changes and awkwardness that i wasnt able to tell anybody … suddenly were coming out from her mouth. She told me everything that I was keeping inside me. Yes… she understood me better than anyone has. I was just overwhelmed with joy and happiness and it felt really light after that. I wished everybody would have such ladies as mothers, mother in laws, sisters, wives……
So you see even if I would have written about the problems I am facing or the things I am not liking they still would have just remained inside me … at least a part of it. But talking did help. And sometimes when the opportunity like this comes we should just speak up. Coz its not necessary that only our parents or friends will be the only one whom you can tell or hide …..But it may be a totally different person you have never shared anything with.
One of the things I was worried about after marriage was my clothing. It may seem a very small stupid thing. But imagine having to wear a saree all day with jewellery. (Saree is a looong piece of cloth draped onto oneself, generally women in India wear it). Its a tedious process of covering up the body. Unless you have been wearing it for quite some time and have got used to it.
And I was always in my jeans and a top everytime before marriage. So I really had a problem wearing sarees. Initially I tried and if I was not very successful in draping myself, I would peep out from the room I had got and see if there were any women to help me fix it!!! And yes 1 or 2 did help me. It was a ritual that I wasn’t supposed to enter the kitchen till 3 days of the marriage. So I literally had nothing else to do except be all dressed up in the morning and sit, ready for more people to come and see me. And I had to put a section of the saree on my head…..as I wasnt supposed to go in front of people with nothing on the head. I would have worn a cap but…… ofcourse not.
So 3 days went by like that. Same routine day and night. And yes I wasn’t allowed to sleep on the same bed as my husband’s till day 4. Again custom. Then after 4 days the day came when I was supposed to enter the kitchen and cook something. That day I woke up, got ready and when i came out I saw 4 people cutting vegetables. Well there was no pressure on me as they wern’t talking about me cooking. I was beginning to think that maybe i was spared…..but…ahem ahem….. then came the discussion. I ended up making food for 15 people…. chicken curry , vegetable curry …and a curd dish. And Indian chicken curry is supposed to be spicy else no one likes it… Well cooking never was a problem for me but for 15 people!!! My hand was scolding me and threatening me never to move again!!!! Then I served it to whomever came…. And suddenly there seemed to be more than 15 people….. Well….The chiken curry was a hit!!! And guess what I got money from two people as blessings for making good food……. PayOff!!!!
There were many times in the day that I wanted to spend some time with my husband… But he was kinda kept busy running errands. So it was all new people who came and visited me. And then there were those who had attended the marriage reception and were showing there face again…. “Do you remember me??? ” How would I remember anybody new whom I had met among a crowd of 6 7 hundred odd people… “MMMMM…. yesss I think I do remember!!!” Thats what I said just to be spared from the whole linking up relations to remind me who they were.
Eventually things settled down and by day 6 7 the crowd was a minimum. I started to sleep with my husband. Attended two prayer rituals still wearing saree(aaarrrrrrrrggggg!!!!). What kept me on was a good time of the marriage where I was supposed to go home to my parents house on the 8th day. I went on 7th night…. and then trust me when I say this….I reached home ….ran inside my room…threw off the saree and changed into my comfy pajamas and gave out a shriek of joy. My parents ofcourse were happy to see me. Although I was supposed to stay for a day ….freedom tasted much sweeter….
Also me and my husband were supposed to go to Phoenix. He was working onsite and I was looking at getting a visa. After 7 days of stay at my home … My visa interview was scheduled in Mumbai, India. And I passed it!! Yeeeaaaaaaahh!!! I was happpyyyy… I was back to my jeans… with my husband… alone in Mumbai…. And then my parents joined us to bid farewell to US. All was well…and then we just flew.
Now I am in Phoenix. Its been 6 and a half months .. Its been a little tough and I see my mother in law snoring in front of me right now…….but…. thats another story!!!!
Weekly Writing Challenge: 1,000 Words – This post is for the writing challenge. To decipher what we see from this picture above. I looked at the picture and wondered what the story behind the girl was.. and then i thought…what is the story behind those animals!! And from there on came up an imagination which led to this short writing.. I hope you enjoy it!
“Don’t you think its late?? There were so many children yesterday! Why aren’t there any now?? Where have all of them gone?”
“Well Greeney, i thought after so many years you would have understood that there are 2 days when all children come and play and then the day when we are left mostly alone”, said Petal the horse.
” Now now, don’t fight over this again. We all know how BIIGGGGG Greeney’s brain is!!! Dont we ! But you know standing in front of this empty restaurant for so many years I wish we could have been somewhere else”.
“Where Tiggy?? This is the world!! There is nothing after that big tree on the corner!! The world ends there. I really wonder where so many kids come from on those 2 days!” said Winne.
” I am bigger and taller than any of you and I can see further than that big tree. Thats not the end. I see a building after that tree.. and there is where the world ends. I suppose all the children stay there”, said Jiffy the Giraffe.
“I wish I could move round and round faster than any of you. Its really hot today! Oh why isnt anyone coming ?? Will be remain stuck here forever??. WIll there ever be a chance when we can see past the boundaries and have a glimpse of what the world’s end looks like????
For a moment everybody started thinking on what Bushy the rabbit had just thought of. That was the only place they had ever been to. And my what all they had seen from there! The 2 days they loved because there were people and children all around and everything was bright. The mom’ s fighting over “who pushed whom first”, the children jumping on the carousel and shrieking at the top of the voices, dad coming out from the end of the world and playing with the children. Yes all of them had witnessed a lot of emotions of people. And they loved when someone was with them. But today it was again Monday.
” i wish someone would come and ride me. Sometimes it feels so lonely. Sighhh….” The moment Greeny had said this a little girl walks up and stares at them.
“Me me me sit on me and I will glide away!!!” says Petal
“No it has to be me. She is looking at me. Definitely she will sit with me. I look more clean than all of you!!
“Oh please Greeny” , all of them say in unison and suddenly become quite. With hopes that the little girl will sit on anyone of them so that they will feel the winds blowing a little more but mostly so that they turn and see the parts of the world around them they had missed while standing there for so long.
And then the girl turned around and just sat on the carousel.
“Is she just going to sit there???’ asked Winne
“I wish I could just sit like you all and do nothing all day long”, sighed the little girl, Daisy, and wondered what it was like to be a part of the carousel.
My Marriage Day – I remember getting up in the morning and feeling nothing. Believe me nothing. Things definitely took time to sink inside me!!!! Well that day went by and i was smiling the whole day. Its one of the feelings when I was having when you just feel happy. Why you don’t know. That day went past and all was okay and well. I was exhausted by the end of the day. You see I have a very ritualistic family. And being from a religion which has tedious and long hours of chanting mantras and sitting in front of the fire, there was no question I would not have been tired. Speaking of chants….. i really wonder why so many chants are there but hardly any of them are explained to us. It has always been so romantic and dreamy to see a christian wedding !!! But then I cant do anything about it. At night i was supposed to leave my house and go to my new house. Yes that time when I was in the car I felt a pang of pain coming from nowhere in particular but somehow linked to the look in my dad’s eyes. I smiled but the way to the new house was taking an eternity.
I reached and after seeing about thousands of people in the day, there were more new people to see. Again that was the time my 2 brothers had come to leave me. And yet again I felt an isolated feeling. All faces were new. I felt like I was a new animal in the zoo whom everybody had come to look at. I was not even relieved at night when I had to sleep. It was the night I had to sleep with my Mother in Law. I lied down there thinking of how suddenly the day had seemed to pass by and I was married. I had to change into 4 heavy dresses that one single day. Just when I thought that the tiredness will get the better out of me I heard a tremendous noise. And my eyes were wide awake. Yes snoring. I didnt know how to sleep anymore when the din was this huge. And after all it was my mother in law’s snore. I couldn’t wake her up on my first day there!!! Sighh!!! Around sometime early morning an alarm beeped at a distance and she woke up. I managed to get 2 3 hrs of sleep and got up for my first new day at my new house.